


Home Is Where Tim Lives

by Living_Free



Series: Slip and Slide [46]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Cobb being accepted, Crack, Dick and Jason being bros, Dick being bendy, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Talon and Tim friendship, Talon gives out belly rubs, The Flying Graysons - Freeform, Tim Drake - Martian, Tim being a sweet horny lad, Timmy as the founder of an extraterrestrial city, Timmy in government, batbros, damian plays the violin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 00:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20462237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Free/pseuds/Living_Free
Summary: Tim plots for his best friend's birthday.Dick finds an outlet for the words he can't convey.The mighty Talon is made to swoon,And Damian busts out a jolly old tune.





	Home Is Where Tim Lives

**Author's Note:**

> What ho, I have returned!
> 
> Work is kicking my ass, but I shall persevere. This series is my lifeblood, it will never end, lol.

Dick was brooding.

Most people brood while either in their favorite armchair, or in their bed. Some do it whilst on the commode, or in the shower. Some do it while petting their cat.

Dick brooded while lying on his belly on the rug, with his legs thrown overtop, and his arse being somewhere in the vicinity of the back of his head. It was incredibly disturbing to walk in on this scene, because it solidified to Jason what an actual mess of bones his brother was.

Terry was rolling around beside Dick, trying to emulate his father and experiencing a startlingly high success rate. Jason swooped in and picked his baby nephew up. "No, Terrykins, don't be a freaky pretzel like daddy."

Dick pouted. "Jaybird, I'm not freaky!"

"You are and you're encouraging my perfect nephew to become a bendy mess just like you."

"But it's normal to encourage flexibility during infancy, my parents did it with me."

"Yes, but you grew up in the circus, where being freaky is encouraged and lauded. Terry is going to grow up to be normal and swole, like Uncle Jay. Isn't that right, Terry-pie?"

"Swole!" Terry cheered.

Dick smiled and stood up on his hands, walking over to Jason, who quickly backpeddaled at the sight of a crablike Dick approaching him, filled with love and affection that he would release like spores all over his unwitting victim.

"Back, Dickface, back!"

Dick continued to smile like an overfed duckling and continued his approach, eventually succeeding in his pursuit when Jason deposited Terry on the rug and ran to hide behind the shelf. Dick unfurled himself like a Japanese fan and slathered Terry with tiny kisses. Jason edged out from behind the shelf and made to escape, but was tripped up by Dick and dragged into his vortex of affection.

"Eck. What atrocities did I commit, to be so trapped in this, the winter of my discontent?" Jason asked philosophically, as Dick trapped his torso between his legs and massaged his scalp for good blood circulation.

Jason gave in and allowed the grooming to take place, his head resting on Dick's stomach. Stupid Dickface luring him over with cute babies and then assaulting him with affection. Might as well have a chat while he was at it.

"So Dickhead, why were you so gloomy?"

Dick hummed. "I was thinking."

"And the force of thought upon your teeny tiny frontal lobe was hurting you, huh?"

"Meanie!" Dick cried, and pinched his ear. "No," he said, resuming his more sedate massage, "I was thinking about Cobb."

"Your invulnerable assassin ancestor? The one who is somehow Tim's bestest buddy and the purveyor of Victorian era baby clothes for Terry?"

"Yeah," Dick chuckled. To be fair, the frilly monstrosities that Cobb dug up for Terry were very cute. "It's his birthday soon, and I was kinda thinking about how sad it was that he missed a lifetime of birthdays already."

"When's his big day?"

"A week from now. I overheard it when Timmy was plotting about his gift. He's making a Grayson Family History book for Cobb to catch up on. There aren't many pictures, but he's been contacting old Haly's Circus almuni for them and for information."

"His information nework is frankly scary," Jason muttered. "No one twink should have that much power."

"But Timmy is nice!"

"Tim is not nice," Jason snorted, "he's chaotic neutral at best."

Dick sighed, conceding this point. "Still, it got me thinking about what to give Cobb on his birthday."

Jason sat up. "Listen, you don't owe the guy anything, okay? Just because he's blood doesn't mean that you have to forget all the shit he put you through before he got his head screwed on right. He freaking kidnapped you, man, I wouldn't blame you if you took your time forgiving that. God knows I did."

Dick smiled mushily and rested his cheek against Jason's shoulder. "I know, Jay. But really, I have forgiven him. He's really changed, and he's so penitent. He actually offered me 'a pound of flesh' as his penance, it was so gross and sweet at the same time."

"Ew ew ew," Jason cringed.

"Yeah, he's still catching up. After Tim educated him on modern times, he offered that I 'roast' him."

"Okay, so he's not a raging twatwaffle anymore," Jason said. "And for some reason, he takes care of Tim like a kitten. So you're thinking of having him over?"

"A bit more than that," Dick said, smiling impishly. "I was thinking..."

***

William Cobb, the feared Talon, was having an ordinary morning on his birthday. He had his tea and biscuits, read the paper, and smiled at the slew of texts that Tim sent him. The anomaly came when he got a call from his young descendent.

"Hi Cobb," Dick said, "happy birthday!"

"Ah, thank you Richard," Cobb said, put slightly off-kilter by the man's enthusiasm.

"I was actually hoping that you could come over. I'd like to celebrate your birthday properly, and Terry would get to greet the birthday boy too."

Cobb smiled as the baby babbled happily on the other end of the phone. "Thank you for that, Richard, but I fear that your father is not as forgiving as you-"

"Oh that's nothing," Dick laughed. "If Bruce can forgive Kon for violating Timmy, then he's definitely forgiven you. Please come over, Timmy would get to give you his gift in person."

Cobb smiled at the thought of little Tim labouring over the little Graysons Throughout The Years scrapbook that he had made for him. "But of course, I should honour his time and effort. When shall I arrive?"

"Oh, come over right now! The more tof the day we spend together the better!"

"Toge'er!" Terry squwaked.

Cobb cut the call and got to his feet, relishing the sudden warmth of the sun on his face, having broken through the clouds in front of it. Perhaps today would be a special day after all.

***

Cobb arrived at Wayne manor and was greeted by his little friend, who twirled around on Cobb's arm happily, his green, leaf patterned frock making him look like a small woodland nymph. Cobb felt a burst fo affection for the smaller fellow, who went out of his way in making a man out of time feel loved and accepted even though he did not have to.

"The scrapbook is ready," Tim said, presenting it to him. "I had to make a couple of calls and track down some photos, but this outlines the highlights of the Grayson family since your birth."

Cobb flipped through the book, his heart skipping when he saw pictures of the son he never knew, read of his feats at Haly's Circus, and the same for John Grayson, who was gone too soon. There were entries for John's marriage to Mary, and the birth of Dick, the highlights of his life, and the book ended with an entry for Terry's birth, with pages left blank at the end.

"Dick's going to have more kids," Tim said. "He wants to wait until Terry is a bit older, but there's going to be more."

"I shall update it accordingly, then. Thank you Tim," Cobb said, pressing a sweet kiss to the boy's cheek.

Tim beamed, and Bruce, standing by the kitchen counter, broke a coffee mug.

Cobb then reached into his bag and pulled out yet another old timey mostrosity of a baby dress, blush pink and covered in frills. "It is all the rage for baby boys."

"Yeah, in the 1800s," Jason said. "Seriously dude, just get him a onesie."

"But they are difficult to maneuver when cleaning the bum. This dress provides aeration."

"Oh my god, Terry likes it," Jason gaped, as Dick slipped it onto his son, who flapped happily in the mound of lace and frills.

Cobb smiled and picked Terry up, and bounced the bonny baby boy around the kitchen, pausing to greet the various occupants of the house as they poured in for breakfast. Cass, who forgave no one except her immediate family for slights against them, had to be reminded that Cobb is family now too, please don't attack him with the melon baller, while Bruce in the corner whispered, "do it, do it!"

"I got you a second present Cobb~" Tim sang.

Cobb startled. "Timothy, you did not have to go to such lengths-""Oh hush. When I come over to your house, you didn't have any pictures. So I made you some!"  
Tim pulled out three framed pictures and handed them to Cobb. The first one was a picture of Cobb holding Terry, sitting on the porch and looking contemplatively into the horizon. The second was a picture of Tim and Cobb, taken during the Pulitzer Gala ball, of Tim dressed in a periwinkle blue dress that made him look like an Air Sprite. The third was a picture of Dick smiling at the camera, and a lone hand peeking out of the frame, displaying a very naughty finger.

Tim shrieked. "Jason you ruined the picture!"

"Some would argue that it was made better by that inclusion," Jason debated. "And it's not even my hand."

"Then whose is it?" Tim asked bitterly.

"Damian's."

Damian, who had just ambled in, screeched in offense and sprang at Jason for the false accusation. "How dare you imply that I would besmirch a photo of Grayson, Todd!"

Jason was unrepentant. "Eat me."

"Num num nummy," Tim said lowly, advancing upon Jason like a pixie panther. Jason quickly backpeddaled, not sure of Tim's true motivations. Tim was quicker, and latched on to Jason's arm, and gummed at his shoulder, making 'om nom nom' sounds.

While Jason wrestled with Tim, Cobb put his time to good use by holding Terry. "Hello little one," Cobb said quietly.

"Hi," Terry grinned back.

"Would you like to sit in the rocking chair?"

"Whee!" Terry opined, and was treated to an hour of rocking chair time, with Cobb's quiet voice providing a soothing backdrop to the fun time. In due course, Terry fell asleep, sprawled adorably over his ancestor.

Dick smiled and came over, gently picking Terry up. "Thanks for taking Terry," he smiled, "it gave me time to do up the cake."

"Cake?" Cobb asked. "Richard, you shouldn't have."  
"Oh pish, don't be silly! Cake is a necessity on birthdays! Besides, its a tiramisu."

"Oh, I do like coffee," Cobb said.

Dick giggled. "Is that why you and Timmy get along?"

"We go coffee tasting together on Wednesdays after work," Cobb said. "Tim gets very happy, and I like beating back the nosy reporters. They don't dare to approach when I am with him," Cobb grinned, stretching the many scars on his face.

Dick giggled. "You and Tim are the unlikeliest pair."

"I don't understand it myself," Cobb shrugged, "but I feel that I must protect him, and that comes from a feeling of love - platonic, don't worry. He is very special, almost pure."

"Timmy's purity is frequently endagered by Kon."

"Yes, that's why I said 'almost' pure. But I was talking about his outlook, not his body. He reminds me of Amelia, with his fae-like ways. But with Tim, I feel as though I have someone who will fight for me."

Dick put his hand on Cobb's shoulder. "I told you, Cobb, you're family now. And we will always fight for each other."

Cobb stared at him, before finally nodding. "Thank you. I am not used to the sentiment, but I...appreciate it, nonetheless."

"Come on, let's have some cake. I'll get Timmy and we can cut it together."

The three of them cut the cake together, and spent some time eating. Damian came waddling in halfway, with his tiny fruit dragon flying happily alongside him. "What ho, family," Damian said, plopping down into a seat gracefully. "I think that Drake was attracted by the smell of the food."

As Cobb reached out to give Tim another piece of cake, Dick burst out laughing. "Not Timmy, Cobb. Dami named the dragon Drake, after Tim."

"Oh, that's sweet," Cobb remarked.

Tim snorted. "He named it after me because seeing it wrestling with a grape vine reminded him of me and Kon."

"Oh, that's less sweet."

"Be more discreet in your declarations of lust, Drake," Damian lectured. "It does not do to have the world be witness to your booming equivocations of love. They will use the information against you."

"I see you're not giving that advice to Dick."

"Grayson does not loudly call for his lover from the rooftops of the manor, begging to be swept away in the - as you so indelicately put it - 'warm, throbbing, embrace' of the Clone."

Tim squeaked and blushed. "You weren't meant to hear that!"

"Drake, it was midday on a Saturday, everyone at home heard it."

Tim groaned. No wonder Bruce was so happy - he was probably thinking up a new punishment for him.

Dick smiled. "Lets not dwell on Timmy's doom," he said. "Cobb, come downstairs with me, I've got a surprise for you."

Cobb followed Dick, Damian, and Tim down to the cave, which was darker than usual. Then, slowly, the light came on, along with a very familiar tune. Cobb felt his breath catch when he recognized the Haly's Circus theme song, and the cave was illuminated to reveal a full trapeze rig, decked out in the colours of the Flying Graysons.

"Every Grayson couple has flown in Haly's Circus," Dick said quietly, not meeting Cobb's eyes to allow him the privacy of dabbing at his streaming eyes, "and today you'll finally get your chance. Will you join me on the trapeze, William?"

Cobb swallowed down the painful lump in his throat long enough to nod jerkily, and allowed Dick and Tim to take one hand each and guide him to the trapeze. At the base of the ladder, Dick handed Cobb a set of telling clothes. "Our colours," he said simply. "We may not grace the trapeze anymore, but it's legacy is with every Robin who's ever held the mantle."

"There can be nothing more fitting," Cobb murmured. "Thank you," he said quietly, but with sincerity.

Dick beamed. "Put it on! I've got mine on already!" So saying, he tore off his clothes to reveal the skintight leotard underneath. There was a smattering of applause from the audience section, which comprised of an enthusuastic Wally, a cheerful Terry, a Kon ripe with anticipation to see Tim in a leotard, and a put out Jason, upset that he had just seen his brother strip, ew.

Cobb returned in his new clothes, blushing slightly. Still, he climbed to the top of the rig, and faced Dick and Tim, now in his old Robin uniform, on the other side. Suddenly, a well loved tune started up on the violin, and Cobb looked down to see Damian on the violin. He took a deep breath, and to everyone's surprise, began to sing,

_"Once I was happy but now I'm forlorn_

_Like an old coat that is tattered and torn_

_Left on this wide world to weep and to mourn,_

_Betrayed by a maid in her teens."_

And to the tune of The Man On The Flying Trapeze, the Graysons took flight again. Damian continued to play and sing,

_"He floats through the air with the greatest of ease,_

_The daring Grayson on the flying trapeze_

_His actions are graceful, all the men he does please_

_And West's love he's stolen away."_

Jason snorted at the lyrics change, while Wally gasped happily at his love story being put into song.

Up in the air, Cobb was smiling as widely as he had ever, in a way he had not since the 1920's. Dick grinned as they landed on their respective platforms, and he nudged Tim forward. Damian's song continued,

_"The time it did pass with a tick and a tock,_

_And Cobb he did kidnap Drake at the dock,_

_But a friendship did bloom as deep as the sea,_

_In a way that is baffling to me._

_Oooooooh~_

_They float through the air with the greatest of ease,_

_That Drake and that Cobb on the flying trapeze._

_Their actions are graceful, but Father is displeased,_

_For Drake has been stolen away."_

Jason burst into startled guffaws, while Bruce, who had been trying to ignore the whole spectacle and trying to work at the Batcomputer, seethed.

Up in the air, Tim swung into Cobb's outstretched arms, content in the knowledge that he would be safe. Cobb caught Tim and brought him back to his own platform, and they stood together, giddy and giggling, while Dick exploded into a million sparkles on the opposite platform.

Cobb startled at the cloud of glitter where Dick had stood not a second before. "Egads."

"Oh yeah, he does that sometimes," Tim said nonchalantly. "There, see, he's congealed back into human form again. But yeah, it can be a bit freaky seeing it for the first time."

"That was...quite something."

"Yeah, Dick's got latent magic."

"No Tim, I meant you. Us. On the trapeze," Cobb said gently.

"Oh," Tim said cottoning on with a blush. "I never thought...well, I'm not the acrobat."

"Richard trained you, yes? That makes you an honorary Grayson. You do the legacy proud."

Tim blushed again, giving Kon down below lots of ideas to keep that blush on his face. "O-Oh," Tim stuttered. "Thanks."

"You are special, Tim, not just to me," Cobb said intently. "Not just to your lover. Or your brothers. You do so much for other people, that you don't stop to see how good you are. So thank you. For today."

Tim collapsed into a stuttering, blushing mess that Cobb had to carry down. Dick flipped over gaily to coo at them. "Aww, that was so sweet of you to say that, Cobb! Even Bruce had a tear in his little eye!"

"Did not," Bruce denied hurriedly, the epitome of emotional maturity.

"Did so, and I took a picture," Jason said, displaying the proof of Bruce's watery eyes.

"Allergies," Bruce insisted.

"To what?"

"Kon-El."

"Ope! Sorry sir, am I sheddin' again?" Kon asked apologetically. "Ma's always on my case about my hair fallin' every which way, says I'm lucky I've got so much of it. I use this oatmeal shampoo 'n conditioner, but it's no help, honest."

"E-egads," Bruce muttered, falling back under the assault of pure farmboy twang directed at him.

Kon clucked concernedly like one of his chickens, and went to check on Bruce, further deteriorating his situation.

While Kon was bonding with his soon-to-be father-in-law (in three years time, when Tim would turn twenty one and they could marry and become one), Tim was recovering from the flattery that had caused him to turn into a puddle of blushing twink. Cobb was nursing him back to health by petting Tim like a tiny kitten. Eventually, the twink was roused.

"I feel better now," Tim said, "but feel free to keep rubbing my tummy."

Cobb simply smiled and kept patting Tim's stomach. "Apologies for overwhelming you, Tim," he said.

"Naw, it be like that sometimes," Tim said glibly from his position where he was flopped over backwards over Cobb's arm. "I'm wokring on accepting how awesome I am."

"You are, that."

"You too," Tim said, bonelessly rising up and peering at Cobb with that scary intellect of his reflected in his eyes. "You're awesome too. I don't know many people who can oversome their past to be the man you are now."

"It's not that hard," ruce grumped. "All you have to do is not kill people."

"And you know how hard that is," Jason said. "You wanted to kill Joker after he offed me. And by the way, I don't think any less of Dick for actually killing him, even if it was for a bit."

Dick blushed in a wholesome, aw-shucks manner. "Thanks Little Wing!"

"Cobb is a valued member of my life and a good citizen!" Tim cried, clinging to his friend's arm. "He has a real job, pays rent, cooks his own food, and feeds the stray doggos on his street!"

Damian's ears perked up at the news of stray canines, and looked at Cobb with new eyes. Bruce too, was lloking at Cobb through new eyes. New, suspicious, eyes.

"You have a job?"  
"I work in a book store," Cobb said proudly. "I believe that there are several people who come into the shop solely to look upon my visage and giggle at it. I don't know what to make of it."

"That means that they're making fun of you," Jason said unhelpfully, and was smacked quickly by Dick.

"Little Wing!" He shrieked. "Cobb, don't listen to him, it means that they have crushes on you."

"This is most disturbing," Cobb said. "They are all around Timothy's age."

Bruce narrowed his eyes. "Cobb."

"Wayne."

"Where is your book shop."

"On University Road, to the east."

"You work at the Gotham University book shop."  
"Yes," Cobb said, reaching into a pocket and taking out a wallet. "This is picture of my first day of legitimate work."

Bruce peered at the photo, which was a picture of Tim and Cobb, the older man holding the younger with an arm around his shoulders. Cobb looked very unlike himself in the picture, with his faux glasses - Talon had perfect eyesight - his scars covered with makeup, and a baby blue botton down shirt with a navy sweater vest. The entire look was oddly reminiscent of...

"This looks like Clark."

"I do not know who Clark is," Cobb said.

"Superman."

"Oh. Then I reject that statement, I look better than him. My hair doesn't do that stupid twirl thing on the forehead. Tim said to just run my hand through my 'Grayson Hair', and it would be perfect."

"I gave Cobb some of Clark's clothes," Kon said proudly. "I pinched his vest and shirt when I was doin' laundry-"

Here, Bruce flinched, because he heard 'laudry' pronounced as 'lawn-dree'.

"-and I gave 'em to Cobb, beacuse we're friends like that, ain't that right, Cobb?"

"Truly, I appreciate the wide social circle that Timothy has introduced me to," Cobb said, nodding at Kon. "Indeed, there is also another fae Green Lad and imitates animals, and he, too, likes having his tummy rubbed after missions."

"How do you know about Titans missions?" Bruce asked suspiciously.

Cobb tilted his head. "I pair up with Timothy when Kon-El is unavailable. We work well together, and afterwards, I rub his and the Green Lad's tummies, while the Grey Lady Of Eternal Grief meditates in the corner."

"You mean Raven?"

"That is her name, I think," Cobb nodded. "Your little one is there also, sometimes," Cobb said, pointing to where Damian was lugging a bag of birdseed upstairs to feed his chickens. "He provides the background music."

"He talks a lot," Tim clarified. "It's like white noise."

"A bit squeaky now," Cobb mused, "but I suspect he will have a nice baritone when he ages."

"Oh my god, squeaky evil gremlin," Jason said, his face glowing at the newly acquired gossip, while Dick chastized him for 'not being nice, don't call Dami a gremlin!'

"You realize what you are, though, don't you?" Stephanie asked.

Bruce spun around, his eyes popping. "When did you get here?"

"I was already here, Alfie let me in last night."

"You spent the night in Cass' room?" Bruce asked, scandalized.

Steph snorted with as much derisiveness as she could muster. "No. Although it sucks, I respect you archaic rule about no significant other sleepovers before marriage. No, I spent the night in Tim's room!"

Tim looked sorry for himself. "I turned around at night and felt a boob. It wasn't nice. It reminded me of overripe tomatoes."

"How dare you call my perfect melon an overripe tomato! Prepare to do battle sir!" Stephanie shouted, and she and Tim descended into a squeaky slap-fight.

Kon sighed dreamily. "I love him so much," he told Cobb earnestly, even as Tim clambered victoriously on top of a fallen Steph. Having beaten his booby foe, Tim ran into Kon's tough, swole, arms, and placed his hands on his throbbing pecs.

Tim was there barely a second before Bruce snatched him up and put him safely next to himself, and looked very pleased with himself.

Cobb looked endlessly amused by the shenannigans as he helped Steph up. "You were saying, Stephanie?"

"I was saying," Steph said, dusting herself off, "that you're basically a Big Brother of the Titans now."

"That's true," Dick trilled. "Before, it used to fall to me to rub Timmy's tummy after a mission, but now you do it too!"

"I wonder why Jason was never tight with us Titans," Kon mused.

"Because," Jason said slowly, "I'm not going around spewing 'righteousness' and 'justice' and rubbing people's stomachs if they're not my bros. You couldn't pay me to do the shit that you Titans got up to - don't deny it, Dick! Kory told me everything!"

Dick, whose eyes had gone wide, looked at Wally, panicked. The equally panicky redhead trembled. "Jason-"

"Jason, no-!"

"I know all about your sordid first gen Titans post-mission orgy nights!" Jason crowed.

"Little Wing, no!" Dick cried. "The missions were so arduous, and we needed comfort, so we all cuddled in a bed! No one banged!"

"Oh-ho!" Jason bellowed. "So you admit to the purpose of the multi king sized bed on the fourth floor of the Titans Headquarters!"

"The bed is pure!" Dick shrieked. "Cuddling is not a crime! All we did was share physical comfort! You understand, don't you Bruce?" Dick asked desperately.

"Certainly not," Bruce said, loking scandalized. "I have been on several tiresome missions, but I have never held Hal Jordan, or Barry, or J'onn J'onzz tenderly against my body, for three completely different reasons respectively."

"Tell us the reasons," Tim wheedled.

"I will not hold Hal in my arms because I hold him in my contempt," Bruce counted off on his fingers. "Barry runs very warm, and he is therefore uncomfortable to hold. And I will not hold J'onn because he wears only underwear and I don't want to feel his bare nips - why are you all laughing, these are serious and valid concerns."

Bruce harrumphed and grumped as his children giggled at his plight, and turned to Cobb. "Surely you can sympathize."

Cobb shrugged. "My fellow Talons and I rarely fraternized. We barely had time to catch a cup of coffee in the pantry after a mission before it was back into the cryostasis tank."

"Oh my god, that's so sad, why did I bother asking."

Tim latched himself onto Cobb's arm protectively. "No one will put you in a tank again," he promised. "They'll have to go through me first!"

"Baby no," Kon said. "They should have to go through me, I'm a lot thicker. You should take Cobb and run into one of your seventy safehouses."

"You have seventy safehouses?" Bruce asked his son. "How many are in Gotham?"

"Those are the ones in Gotham," Tim the paranoia queen said. "Globally, I have a total of two hundred safe houses. If you include the ones that I have on Mars and Tamaran, then that brings the number up to two hundred and two."

"...You have a safehouse on Mars."

"Yeah," Tim said.

"Tim."

"Yes Bruce?"

"When did you go to Mars."

"..."

"TIM!"

"I only wanted to reestablish life on a previously lively planet!" Tim cried. "I asked J'onn to take me, and we reestablished life on Mars! I am an official citizen of Mars, of the newly inaugurated city of Timville!"

"You named a city after yourself."

"Kon and I are the first family to live in Timville, and our children will have dual citizenship!"

"What about J'onn?"

"He's the mayor of Timville."

"Hold up," Jason said. "What did you say about the safehouse on Tamaran?"

"..."

"Tim," Bruce groaned.

"Yes! Timmy holds triple citizenship! Gotham, Mars, and Tamaran, Timmy has it all!"

"What amenities does Timville offer?" Jason asked.

"Timville has state of the art architecture, with regular maintenance inside the biosphere that filters the Martian air and makes it breathable for humans. I have a house, as does J'onn, and we have started settling our first batch of settlers - political refugees from the nearby war-torn planet of Xigmek. They bring with them their hopes and dreams, their skills and trades, and an undying love for Timmy!"

Bruce sighed and resigned himself to the fact that his son was the much feted founder of a Martian city and had revitalized a once forsaken land and resurrected the lives of a tradegy stricken alien populace.

Jason was clearly pondering the same thing, but with a slight twist. "What are the requirements for dual citizenship on Timville?"

"J'onn handles immigration, as the mayor. You have to talk to him. But I had forseen this, and my manor is large enough to support ten separate families, for my siblings, father and grandpa, Cobb, friends, and Kon's family members!"

"How is the crime rate in Timville?"

"There is no crime," Tim said sweetly. "The former people of Xigmek are industrious and honorable, and are eager to start their new lives off on the right foot, and are enriching the culture and economy of Timville."

"You wish for me to move to Timville?" Cobb asked.

"Only if you want to," Tim shrugged. "The invitation is always open, and you can hold dual citizenship."

"I do not have citizenship, I am technically an anachronism who does not exist."

"Then welcome to Timville!" Tim beamed.

While Tim celebrated expanding his little extraterrestrial community, Bruce settled on being glumly resigned to losing his children to the allure of Mars, while he was left old and alone on Gotham in his dotage.

When he voiced these thoughts, Tim squeaked defiantly. "Don't be ridiculous, Bruce, I've already made a humanoid robot to imbue with you conciousness!"

"Oh no."

"Robots for everyone!" Tim squeaked.

"This has gone too far," Bruce said.

"And yet, not far enough," Jason mused. "Can Robo-Jay and Robo-Roy boink?"

"I can program them to, but that means making simulation robot prostates."

Damian chose that moment to come in, and ask, "Why is Drake imbuing robots with prostates?"

Dick screamed and flew towards Damian, bundling him up in his arms and smashing his tiny head against his own warm, loving, maternal bosom, and squishing Damian's tiny ears closed. "No Dami!"

Damian hummed at the warmth and allowed himself to be cradled, smiling like a diabolical gnome. "Ah, so Todd's crassness has paid off for me, how fortuitous," he muttered. "Note to self, feign innocence more often."

Jason glared at his baby brother. "Well, well, well. It looks like someone is at just the right height for a wet willy."

Damian shrieked. "Don't you dare, Todd!"

Jason continued his slow approach, and Damian squirmed in Dick's arms. "Oh ho ho, who will save you now, little gremlin?"

Dick gasped and threw Damian up into the air. "Cobb! Catch him!"

Damian landed in Cobb's arms and grinned. Double Grayson cuddles! Life was brilliant. Now, if only Todd would eat rancid meat and get diarrhea, he would leave Damian alone to be surrounded by the warmth of the Graysons and Terry and West, who was surprsingly good at cuddles.

"What ho, Cobb."

"Er. What ho?"

"Thank you for catching me."

"My pleasure," Cobb replied, and set Damian down gently, and watched the boy run over and nag his father.

"So, how did you like your birthday, Cobb~?" Tim sang, snagging his friend's arm again.

"It was lovely," Cobb said truthfully. "I have...missed being part of something bigger. Not the Court," he clarified, when Cass looked ready to stab again, "the circus. It was like...a family."

"Hey dingus," Jason said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We are family, not *like* family."

"Oh," Cobb said, pleasantly surprised. "Thank you."

"Dude, why're you thanking me?" Jason snorted. "You're related to my brother, that literally makes you family. We just go around engulfing people like bacteria."

"That's nice," Cobb hummed, as Tim started purring when Kon walked over to stand closer to him. His hand unconciously drifted upwards and started to pet Tim's head.

Dick beamed at Cobb's acceptance of the fact. One more had fallen to his unending conquest to be loved. Of course, when Dick grinned, Damian grinned. And when Damian grinned, Terry grinned.

They stood there, the three of them and Tim, beaming at Cobb like perfectly content imps.

"In fact, that's perfect."

***

IN THIS FIC, TIMMY WORE...

[Timmy's forest pixie dress](https://www.amazon.com/FAIRY-COUPLE-Sleeveless-Cocktail-DL022/dp/B07RN4PVXT/ref=pd_sbs_193_5/137-9702158-8625703?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07DFYNC2M&pd_rd_r=20030d6b-6da4-4991-9815-c0a5d6b920f6&pd_rd_w=2oNZi&pd_rd_wg=ATF9G&pf_rd_p=1c11b7ff-9ffb-4ba6-8036-be1b0afa79bb&pf_rd_r=YHWMMT1NYP1ERB9CY814&refRID=YHWMMT1NYP1ERB9CY814&th=1)


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